Grief Resources

Grief and Loss

Grief reflects the depth of our love and the significance of our relationships. Every one deserves support, understanding, and kindness as they carry what has been lost and continue living.

How you feel now may depend on many things — the closeness of your relationship, unresolved conflicts, the length of the illness, the caregiving you experienced, and how supported you felt both before and after the death. There is no “right” way to grieve.

Grief affects more than emotions. It can influence sleep, appetite, stress responses, energy levels, and your ability to focus. Many people tell us that grief takes far more energy than they ever imagined. Give yourself time, and give yourself permission to move at the pace that feels right for you.

You Are Not Alone

Grief is a natural response to loss, and it looks different for everyone. There is no right way to grieve and no set timeline for healing. You may be feeling sadness, confusion, anger, exhaustion, or moments of calm—or all of these at once. If you are here because you have lost someone you love, please know that you are not alone.

We Are Here to Help

Seeking information or support is a meaningful step, whether your loss is recent or from long ago. This section offers resources to support you wherever you are in your grief, including books, organizations, and tools that many people have found helpful. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and return as often as you need. You deserve care, patience, and compassion as you navigate this tender time.

Understanding Grief

Grief is a universal human experience and an important public health issue. Loss can affect emotional, physical, cognitive, and social well-being, often in ways people do not expect.

Difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, problems with concentration, heightened anxiety, or feeling disconnected from others are all common responses to grief. Grief is not an illness, and it does not follow predictable stages. It is shaped by culture, relationships, life experiences, the nature of the loss, and the support systems available to us.

Many people experience waves of grief that ebb and flow over time rather than resolving neatly. Access to information, community support, and compassionate care can reduce isolation and help people navigate grief in healthier, more supported ways. Learning about grief can help normalize your experience and remind you that what you are feeling is a valid response to loss.

From Elisabeth Kübler-Ross to Today

Our modern understanding of grief is deeply shaped by the groundbreaking work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whose compassion and curiosity transformed how the medical community—and society—approaches death, dying, and loss. In her seminal book On Death and Dying (1969), Kübler-Ross gave voice to experiences that had long been ignored or silenced, introducing what became known as the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

A Shared Foundation

Kübler-Ross never intended these stages to be a rigid sequence or a universal prescription. Rather, they offered a shared language to help normalize the emotional responses people may experience when facing profound loss. She emphasized that grief is deeply personal, non-linear, and shaped by individual circumstances. Her lasting contribution was not simply naming stages, but affirming that grief itself is natural, human, and deserving of compassion.

Building on this foundation, contemporary clinicians and researchers have broadened our understanding of grief even further. The Cleveland Clinic, for example, frames grief as a response not only to death, but to any significant loss that disrupts a person’s sense of meaning, identity, or stability—including loss of health, relationships, independence, roles, or future plans. This expanded view reflects what many people experience in real life: grief is not confined to one moment or one type of loss.

This expanded view reflects what many people experience in real life: grief is not confined to one moment or one type of loss.

The Cleveland Clinic also helps clarify related terms that can deepen understanding. Grief is the internal emotional response to loss. Grieving is the ongoing process of adapting to life after that loss. Bereavement refers specifically to the period following a death, while mourning encompasses the outward expressions of grief—rituals, customs, and cultural practices that help people acknowledge and honor what has been lost.

Grief Takes Many Forms

Together, Kübler-Ross’s work and modern clinical perspectives remind us that grief takes many forms. People may experience anticipatory grief while a loved one is still living, especially in the context of serious illness. Some experience abbreviated grief, often after long periods of caregiving or emotional preparation. Others encounter delayed grief, when feelings surface weeks or months later, once immediate demands subside. Inhibited grief may remain largely internal, showing up as physical symptoms rather than tears or words. Cumulative grief can occur when multiple losses stack up without time or space to heal, and collective grief arises when entire communities experience shared loss, such as during a pandemic or natural disaster.

Grief affects the whole person—emotionally, physically, cognitively, and behaviorally. It may include sadness, anger, guilt, relief, numbness, confusion, fatigue, sleep disruption, appetite changes, or difficulty concentrating. These reactions can come and go unpredictably and may change over time. Both Kübler-Ross’s insights and current clinical guidance emphasize that there is no correct timeline and no single “right” way to grieve.

In some cases, grief can feel especially intense or persistent, interfering with daily life. Contemporary research acknowledges that when grief does not ease over time, additional support may be needed. Seeking help—whether through trusted people, community resources, or professional care—is not a sign of weakness, but an act of self-compassion.

Taken together, the legacy of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and the expanded understanding offered by today’s medical and mental health communities provide a powerful, humane truth: grief is not something to fix or rush through. It is something to be witnessed, supported, and carried with care. As you explore the resources in this Grief Section, we invite you to take what resonates, move at your own pace, and remember that your experience—however it shows up—is valid and worthy of compassion.

How Grief Is Understood Today

Contemporary clinicians and researchers have expanded Kübler-Ross’s framework to reflect the many ways grief shows up in real life. According to modern clinical perspectives (including the Cleveland Clinic), grief may arise from:

The death of a loved one
Loss of health or physical ability
Changes in identity or independence
The end of relationships or roles
Loss of future plans, stability, or meaning

This broader view acknowledges that grief is not limited to a single event or moment in time.

As you explore the resources in this section, take what resonates. Move at your own pace. Trust that your experience — however it shows up — is valid and worthy of compassion.

Grief, Grieving, Bereavement, and Mourning

Several related terms are often used when discussing grief. Understanding these distinctions can be helpful:

Grief – The internal emotional response to loss
Grieving – The ongoing process of adapting to life after loss
Bereavement – The period of time following a death
Mourning – The outward expression of grief through rituals, customs, and cultural practices

Different Forms of Grief

Grief does not look the same for everyone. People may experience one or more of the following:

Anticipatory grief – Grief experienced before a loss occurs, often during serious illness
Abbreviated grief – A shortened grieving process, sometimes following long caregiving or emotional preparation
Delayed grief – Emotional responses that surface weeks or months later, after immediate demands have passed
Inhibited grief – Grief that remains largely internal and may appear as physical symptoms rather than emotional expression
Cumulative grief – Multiple losses occurring close together, without time or space to heal
Collective grief – Shared grief experienced by communities following events such as pandemics or natural disasters

Your Experience – How Grief Can Affect the Whole Person

Grief impacts people emotionally, physically, cognitively, and behaviorally. Common experiences may include:

Sadness, anger, guilt, relief, or numbness
Fatigue, sleep disruption, or appetite changes
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Emotional responses that come and go unpredictably

There is no correct timeline for grief and no single “right” way to experience it.

When Additional Support May Be Helpful

For some, grieving can feel especially intense or persistent and may interfere with daily life. When grief does not ease over time, additional support can be an important form of care. Support may come from:

Trusted friends or family members
Peer or community support groups
Counseling or professional mental health care

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness — it is an act of self-compassion.

Creating a Companionship with Grief

After suppressing grief for decades, in this YouTube video interview, Anderson Cooper reached out to psychotherapist and author Francis Weller to ask for help. In this very personal conversation Anderson reveals some of what he’s learned about the strategies he developed as a child to shield himself from grief and why those strategies are now working against him.

First aired October 2024. Runtime: 00:29:49

EOLONM Library - Books on Grief

NEW MEXICO GRIEF CENTERS

HeartLight Center

Find meaningful, accessible grief support and education at HeartLight Center. We all grieve differently after a death loss, so our support needs can be different. HeartLight Center offers a variety of support groups, workshops and specialty programs, seminars and resources for individuals and organizations so that you can access the support that is meaningful to you. For New Mexico Programs

Gerard’s House for Grieving Children

Gerard’s House is a safe place for grieving children, teens and families, where healing happens through acceptance and peer support. When a child or teenager experiences the death of – or separation from – a parent or other loved one, we are there with free grief support services and we have been since 1997.

The Grief Center New Mexico

The Grief Center provides support groups, workshops and resources for all who grieve; children, teens and adults. Thanks to donors and community supporters, there is never a charge for grief support services. Our vision is that all grieving people will receive compassionate support needed to foster hope for the future.

Golden Willow Retreat

In-person and Zoom grief support groups

RESOURCES:

Grief Networking Alliance of New Mexico

A professional networking organization for professionals and volunteers who support grievers in the Land of Enchantment. The Grief Networking Alliance of New Mexico (GNA-NM) is a professional networking group that connects and supports grief care providers. It serves as a hub for lay and professional providers to collaborate, share resources, and build relationships, fostering a more compassionate and comprehensive approach to grief, death, and end-of-life care. Through education, discussion, and mutual support, GNA-NM strengthens the accessibility and impact of grief-related services across the state. Our mission is to enhance the well-being and holistic growth of those providing support to grievers.

What Is Grief: Types, Symptoms, and How to Cope

Read more at the Cleveland Clinic website.

End of Life Options New Mexico Resource Library

There are many great resources out there, from books to podcasts, movies and more. EOLONM strives to offer helpful material for our community — but this is not an exclusive list. If there’s something you’d like to share, such as a newly discovered TED talk, or excellent author, be sure to let us know at info@endoflifeoptionsnm.org or Contact Us through our website.

How to Start a Grief Support Group

Article, by Mimi Rothschild

Sesame Street

For the 1-in-12 children who will experience the death of a loved one by age 18, grief never really goes away. But there are things they can do – like spending time with family and friends – to help them cope with grief. You can find books and movies, in English and Spanish, for parents, caregivers, and providers. Visit sesameworkshop.org/topics/grief/

For Grief Resources Related to Medical Aid in Dying: