Grief After MAiD
For some people, grieving after a MAiD death feels similar to grieving after any natural death. In countries and states where MAiD has been available longer, research shows that, on average, grief is not more complicated after MAiD — but it can be shaped in specific ways by the experience leading up to the death.
Some people find comfort in having had time for important conversations: sharing stories, expressing appreciation, resolving misunderstandings, or simply being present together. These moments are sometimes called anticipatory grief, and they can help soften the transition into mourning.
Others say they feel relief knowing their loved one is no longer suffering. Relief is a normal and valid response; it does not diminish the love you felt.
Every story is unique
How you feel now may depend on many things — the closeness of your relationship, unresolved conflicts, the length of the illness, the caregiving you experienced, and how supported you felt both before and after the death. There is no “right” way to grieve.
Grief affects more than emotions. It can influence sleep, appetite, stress responses, energy levels, and your ability to focus. Many people tell us that grief takes far more energy than they ever imagined. Give yourself time, and give yourself permission to move at the pace that feels right for you.
When the process didn’t go as expected
Most MAiD experiences are peaceful. Occasionally, aspects of the medical process can be complicated or take longer than anticipated. Sometimes grief becomes focused on these medical moments, overshadowing memories of the person themselves. This is also a normal part of grief, and talking about it with someone experienced in end-of-life care may help bring balance back to your memories.
When feelings are mixed
Not everyone feels peaceful or confident about the decision to use MAiD. You or people around you may have felt uncertain, conflicted, or morally challenged. If that’s the case, you may notice anger, disappointment, guilt, or surprise at your own reactions. These feelings are normal. Writing, creative expression, talking with a trusted friend, or speaking with a counselor can help.
Your experience may also be shaped by how open or private the process was. Some families share the entire journey openly; others feel they must keep the details private because of stigma or differing beliefs. Both approaches are valid. Protecting your own emotional well-being matters more than explaining the circumstances to others.
Common Questions
Related to Grief Surrounding Medical Aid in Dying (MAiD)
Q: Is grief different after a MAiD death?
A: It can be — but not always. Research suggests that grief is no more complicated after MAiD than after any expected natural death. Factors such as family support, clarity of communication, spiritual or cultural beliefs, and the overall end-of-life experience play significant roles.
Q: Is it normal to feel relief?
A: Yes — relief is a valid response, especially if your loved one suffered for a long time. Feeling relief does not mean you loved them any less.
Q: I had mixed feelings about MAiD. Is that normal?
A: Absolutely. Even when the person choosing MAiD felt clear and at peace, family and friends may have conflicting feelings. Cultural background, faith traditions, and personal experiences all shape how people respond.
Q: What if the process didn’t go as smoothly as we hoped?
A: You may find yourself replaying medical details or wishing things had gone differently. This happens to many people. Speaking with a grief counselor or someone experienced in end-of-life care can help you work through those memories.
Q: Should I tell people that MAiD was involved?
A: You get to decide what feels safe and respectful. Some people are open; others prefer privacy. If you’re unsure, consider who can hold that information gently and without judgment.
Q: Where can I find help?
A: EOLONM is gathering resources, including local hospice programs, culturally-specific support options, and online communities. For now, please visit our Additional Resources section below for organizations that may be helpful.
RESOURCES:
Grief After Medically Assisted Death — Virtual Hospice
A clear overview of how grief may unfold after MAiD, with guidance drawn from families’ experiences and clinical insights. Visit resource
MAiD: Family Considerations
A compassionate reflection on the emotional complexities MAiD can create within families and how to navigate them. Visit resource
So Now What? Grief and Bereavement Following MAiD
A thoughtful outline of what grieving families may encounter after MAiD and how to support emotional healing. Visit resource
Professional Resources on MAiD and Bereavement
Resources for clinicians, counselors, and support workers involved in end-of-life and MAiD-related care. Visit resource
Reading List: Supporting Friends and Family Around a MAiD Death
A curated list of books, articles, and materials for those wanting to better understand and support MAiD-related grief. Visit resource
Bereavement Theories and Group Approaches
An accessible explanation of foundational grief theories and how they apply in group or facilitated settings. Visit resource
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