Books About End of Life
There are many great resources out there, and this is just a sampling. If there’s a book you’d like us to share, be sure to let us know at info@endoflifeoptionsnm.org or Contact Us through the website.
featured:
Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
Everything is Temporary
Illustrated Contemplations on How Death Shapes Our Lives
by Iris Gottlieb
“You are already dying. You always have been. We all have.”
If anyone can make death charming, it’s Iris Gottlieb. Her 175-page book Everything is Temporary is both direct and, somehow, comforting to the reader, perhaps because a significant portion of the book is filled with her illustrated musings about the grand finale looming in all our futures. While the Buddhists among us already understand the significance of everything –e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g– being temporary, the rest of us may need a bit of prodding to fully experience this reality as it applies to us. Gottlieb provides
just that, in a way that distills larger philosophies into simple phrases that connect us to one another, and to all living beings.
If you are someone who reads about death and dying, you will find this a refreshing primer on fear of death, living life, memory, grief, and denial. If you have never read anything about death and dying, the book is a good introduction. The text itself looks like affable handwriting, not typeface, adding to the informality of the work. If I had to fault this tiny tome, it would be that it is impossible to both read the book and snack simultaneously. There is so little text on the pages that you will have turned the page seven times before you get halfway through your Mallomar. Once dedicated to the text, you can likely finish the book in twenty minutes, and that includes time to browse the drawings that literally illustrate her point. Connecting our individual selves to every being that has ever lived, or will ever live, eases the isolation and anxiety that we may experience when we fully realize that we, like the beloved Mallomar, have a defined shelf life. An expiration date. Serious topics housed in a casual, accessible form make
this work a worthwhile read. — Review by Josephine Levy
Wingman
Escorting My Father To A Death With Dignity
By Daniel Zimberoff
FROM A DYING WISH COMES A STORY NAVIGATING THE EMOTIONAL TERRAIN THAT LIES BETWEEN AUTONOMY, DUTY, POWER, AND LOVE.
Being with Dying
Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death
Review by Josephine Levy, Public Outreach and Education Volunteer and EOLONM Social Media coordinator.
Death and dying have never been more popular. With the growth of the end-of-life movement and all it entails, a range of professional and amateur opinions about how to address this often-unwelcomed transition are easy enough to find. Start smart with New Mexico’s own Joan Halifax and her Being with Dying. Halifax has decades of experience witnessing and supporting others in the process of dying. As the founder of Santa Fe’s Upaya Zen Center, she brings teachings that share an intellectual foundation with compassion and grace.
With stories both personal (her own father’s death experience) and universal (We are all dying! Take a seat and wait your turn!) Halifax reminds us that there is no one “goal” when it comes to dying. We each die in our own way, and as we bear witness to the deaths of others, we can learn to be present without inflicting our own notions of what another’s death should be. With both philosophical understanding and practical approaches (a meditation is offered after each chapter), Halifax offers much in learning not only how to be present for another, but also how to face our own death as we take part in the universal experience that patiently awaits.
Prepare to Die!!! And Other Stuff Nobody Told You
A practical guide for dealing with the inevitable — A best-selling DIY workbook.
by Peter Callan
This is a straight forward, simple yet comprehensive guide that deals with end-of-life issues in a clear and understandable way. Written by an experienced paralegal, the topics include power of attorney for healthcare, living wills, Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders, death certificate copies, and even advice for pet owners to make sure their four-legged companions are taken care of after they pass away. All the bases are covered! With a list of resources, suggested readings, estate planning forms (like last will and testament and living will, among others) and even some fun facts about death, the book a must read for everyone. Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
In Passing: Stories of Medical Aid in Dying
Oral histories supplemented with science. The personal and the process.
by Twana Sparks MD
As of 2024, it is legal in ten of the United States and the District of Columbia for providers to prescribe medications for medical aid in dying for the terminally ill. The touching stories of many of those accessing this new law are recounted compassionately, with discussion of laws in New Mexico elsewhere and the philosophy of allowing people to end their suffering. Families contributed stories as well.
The author neither encourages nor promotes medical aid in dying, formerly called dying with dignity. This is only information regarding the process and experience. Family members and healthcare providers contributed.
Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
Advice for Future Corpses
(and Those Who Love Them)
A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
by Sallie Tisdale
Beautifully written and compulsively readable, Advice for Future Corpses offers the resources and reassurance that we all need for planning the ends of our lives, and is essential reading for future corpses everywhere. Read our Book Review.
Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
The VSED Handbook
A Practical Guide to Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking
Author: Kate Christie
Voluntarily stopping eating and drinking (VSED) is a widely available yet relatively unknown end-of-life choice utilized by terminally ill people throughout modern history. In this short but comprehensive guidebook, novelist Kate Christie details the steps her family took when her late mother Jane chose a peaceful death via VSED to escape the final brutal stages of Alzheimer’s disease.
In clear, concise language, Christie—a former technical writer—offers an actionable plan for anyone considering hastening their own death. Through examples drawn from her family’s experience, Christie emphasizes the importance of planning, palliative care (including medication to ease the dying process), and a broad support network. She also describes what to expect from each stage of the VSED process and highlights the challenges and unexpected gifts of accompanying her dying mother on her final journey.
As Christie notes, a peaceful death free of suffering like the one her mother achieved is possible with VSED—but only with planning, perseverance, and the support of a trusted team.
UPDATE JANUARY 15, 2026: Amazon has banned this book (and a handful of others that advocate for VSED as a legal end-of-life option for the terminally ill) due to an alleged violation of their content guidelines based on subject matter.
Where to Buy The VSED Handbook in Paperback
To summarize, if you’re looking for a paperback copy of The VSED Handbook, you should be able to find it at these locations:
- Barnes & Noble (shipped to your home for an extra fee)
- Village Books in Bellingham, WA (shipped to your home if you are not local)
- Bookshop.org
- Your local independent bookstore, such as Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you! ISBN: 979-8994556900
Where to Buy The VSED Handbook in Ebook
If you’re looking for an ebook copy, check these sites:
- Bookshop.org
- Smashwords (epub, mobi, pdf, lrf, pdb and txt formats)
- Barnes & Noble (Nook book)
- Apple Books
- Kobo
A Journal of Aid-In-Dying
Medicine Vol. 3
By: Lonny Shavelson, MD, Academy of Aid in Dying Medicine
Medical Aid in Dying: A Guide for Patients and Their Supporters, originated from the questions, interests, and needs of dying patients, their families, their loved ones, and the many others who support them. Its goal is to demystify and facilitate the process of medical aid in dying.
Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking
A Compassionate, Widely Available Option for Hastening Death
Edited by Timothy E. Quill, Paul T. Menzel, Thaddeus Pope, and Judith K. Schwarz
Presents a detailed and highly accessible discussion of VSED, including eight real cases, that will appeal to the public as well as to medical, legal, and bioethics scholars
Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
Endnotes
Live Well, Age Well, Die Well
by The Peaceful Presence Project
This beautiful and helpful booklet was designed by a group out of Oregon that does end-of-life counseling, The Peaceful Presence Project. It provides a roadmap and a heartfelt keepsake for the survivors left behind by a death.
Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
Choosing to Die
A Personal Story
by Phyllis Shacter
Phyllis Shacter courageously shares the first personal story ever written about VSED (voluntarily stopping eating and drinking). This memoir and guidebook follows the journey she took with her husband, Alan, once he decided to VSED so he didn’t have to live into the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Please also visit The VSED Choice for more information about his journey.
When My Time Comes
Conversations about whether those who are dying should have the right to determine when life should end
by Diane Rehm
From Diane Rehm, renowned radio host–one of the most trusted voices in the nation–and best-selling author: a book of candor and compassion, addressing the urgent, hotly contested cause of the Right-to-Die movement, of which she is one of our most inspiring champions. Read our book review here.
Order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you — or listen to her interview on WAMU.
Choosing to Live, Choosing to Die
The Complexities of Assisted Dying
by Nikki Tate
With many jurisdictions considering whether or not to implement new assisted-death legislation, Choosing to Live, Choosing to Die is a timely look at the subject for teen readers who may not yet have had much experience with death and dying.
Find it at your library, order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or the local bookstore nearest you!
That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour
by Sunita Puri
That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour describes how we step into this intersection gracefully. The author, Dr. Sunita Puri, is an assistant professor of clinical medicine at the University of Southern California and the medical director of palliative medicine at Keck Hospital and the Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center, in Los Angeles. This book is the story of Dr. Puri’s journey to palliative medicine; she takes us along.
Find it at your library, or order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or a local bookstore nearest you!
A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death
by BJ Miller, MD and Shoshana Berger
This is a practical, compassionate, and comprehensive guide to dying—and living fully until you do.
“There is nothing wrong with you for dying,” palliative care doctor B.J. Miller and Shoshana Berger write in A Beginner’s Guide to the End. “Our ultimate purpose here isn’t so much to help you die as it is to free up as much life as possible until you do.”
NPR Interview or find it at your library, or order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or a local bookstore nearest you!
Dying Unafraid
by Fran Moreland Johns
Dying Unafraid tells inspired stories of individuals who faced death without fear, offering hope and encouragement to those about them. It is written for the lay reader by a veteran storyteller/reporter who herself has long experience working with the terminally ill. Tough questions of the day such as the issues of self-deliverance and physician-hastened death, as well as what rights individuals have in retaining control over their own lives when those lives are ending are addressed through the stories of individuals who have confronted those issues. Learn more about the author.
Find it at your library, or order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or a local bookstore nearest you!
The Art of Dying Well – A practical Guide to a Good End of Life
by Katy Butler
From goodreads: “This down-to-earth manual for living, aging, and dying with meaning and even joy is based on Butler’s own experience caring for aging parents, as well as hundreds of interviews with people who have successfully navigated a fragmented health system and helped their loved ones have good deaths. It also draws on interviews with nationally recognized experts in family medicine, palliative care, geriatrics, oncology, hospice, and other medical specialties. Inspired by the medieval death manual Ars Moriendi, or the Art of Dying, The Art of Dying Well is the definitive update for our modern age, and illuminates the path to a better end of life.”
The Four Things That Matter Most – A Book About Living
by Ira Byock
Four simple phrases that carry enormous power, especially at the end of life.
Find it at your library or local bookseller.
Can’t We Talk About Something More PLEASANT?
by Roz Chast
New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast brings her signature wit to the topic of aging
Find it at your library or local bookstore. Learn more about the author or to order it online.
A Better Way of Dying – How to Make the Best Choices at the End of Life
by Jeanne & Eileen Fitzpatrick
Advanced directives and living wills have improved our ability to dictate end-of-life care, but even these cannot guarantee that we will be allowed the dignity of a natural death. Designed by two sisters-one a doctor, one a lawyer-and drawing on their decades of experience, the five-step Compassion Protocol outlined in A Better Way of Dying offers a simple and effective framework for leaving caretakers concrete, unambiguous, and legally binding instructions about your wishes for your last days.
Find it at your library, or order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or a local bookstore nearest you!
Being Mortal – Medicine and What Matters in the End
by Atul Gawande, MD, MPH
Addresses the current state of care about age-related frailty, serious illness, and impending death. Through eye-opening research and gripping stories of his own patients and family, Gawande reveals the suffering this dynamic has produced. Nursing homes, devoted above all to safety, battle with residents over the food they are allowed to eat and the choices they are allowed to make. Doctors, uncomfortable discussing patients’ anxieties about death, fall back on false hopes and treatments that are actually shortening lives instead of improving them.
Find it at your library or local bookseller.
Die Wise – A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul
by Stephen Jenkinson
Die Wise does not offer seven steps for coping with death. It does not suggest ways to make dying easier. It pours no honey to make the medicine go down. Instead, with lyrical prose, deep wisdom, and stories from his two decades of working with dying people and their families, Stephen Jenkinson places death at the center of the page and asks us to behold it in all its painful beauty. Die Wise teaches the skills of dying, skills that have to be learned in the course of living deeply and well. Die Wise is for those who will fail to live forever.
Find it at your library or local bookstore.
When Breath Becomes Air
by Paul Kalanathi
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • PULITZER PRIZE FINALIST • This inspiring, exquisitely observed memoir finds hope and beauty in the face of insurmountable odds as an idealistic young neurosurgeon attempts to answer the question What makes a life worth living?
A memoir of life and illness, battling stage IV metastasized lung cancer. Published posthumously. Foreword by Abraham Verghese
Find it at your library or local bookstore.
Finish Strong – Putting Your Priorities First at Life’s End
by Barbara Coombs Lee
The guide to achieving the positive end-of-life experience you want and deserve, this second edition of Finish Strong by Barbara Coombs Lee the President Emerita/Senior Adviser of Compassion & Choices, features valuable new material, including a new chapter called “Race and Culture Matter;” an Afterword by Kim Callinan, the President/CEO of Compassion & Choices; and a detailed index for the book.
Find it at your library or For more information and to order it online.
Talking About Death
by Virginia Morris
Even in this candidly confessional age, we’ve been conditioned to avoid discussions of death. Our youth-worshipping culture does everything to deny death, which is why, when the end nears, most of us are inadequately prepared to deal with it. And the cost of that is great: many are haunted by memories of how inappropriately or painfully or uncomfortably their parents and grandparents died. Many of us avoid even considering the options, in all their complexity, that we will most likely face one day, given our new longevity and the profound advances in medicine. With its wise and very compelling argument that all of us, at any age, can and should face death before it faces us, Talking About Death addresses the cultural, personal, medical, and legal concerns that are necessary for us–as individuals and as a society–to prepare for a good death, a death where the dying are in control and not, as is too often the case, caught in a downward spiral of medical intervention and misunderstood intentions.
Find it at your library or local bookstore.
How we Die – Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter
by Sherwin Nuland
NATIONAL BOOK AWARD WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • The definitive resource on perhaps the single most universal human concern: death.
Even more relevant than when it was first published, this edition addresses contemporary issues in end-of-life care and includes an all-embracing and incisive afterword that examines the state of health care and our relationship with life as it approaches its terminus. How We Die also discusses how we can take control of our own final days and those of our loved ones.
Find it at your library, or order through Collected Works in Santa Fe, or a local bookstore nearest you!